True Selfishness

True selfishness consists of wishing others well and causing them to be happy.

Why is that? If others are well they will not cause you to be irritated.

If they are content they will not be interested in grabbing what it is you have.

If they are happy they will not be envious of your happiness.

If they are wise they will have no reason to be shitty for no reason.

If they are filled with love they will have no taint of enmity in their hearts.

If they are protected from dangers they will have no self-reproach.

If they are peaceful they will not be angry, loud,disturbing, stupid, arrogant, etc.

If they are calm they will be able to take unpleasant things with more tolerance and kindness.

If they free from hatred they will well, very well. And happy.

Estudyante

Iniisp ko yung sinabi ni Kuya Anjo tungkol sa pagiging estudyante at matuto palagi. At iniisip ko rin kung paanong parang school project presentation yung presentation ni Sir Mark tungkol sa art spaces nung talk sa CCP.

Iniisip ko parang sa school environment din ang art. Gagawa ka, idodocument mo, gagawa ka ng papers na nageexplain sa background mo at kung tungkol saan ang gawa mo, isusubmit mo, magprepresent ka. Parang school din.

At inaalala ko rin yung mga pinakanaasar at pinakanapikon ako na talks na napuntahan ko. At napaglinaylinayan ko na ang dahilan kung bakit naaasar ako ay dahil parang tamad na estudyante ang presentor.


Parang yung weird na kakaklse ko na nagsasalit ng nagsasalita lang na sabi niya isturbuhin lang daw siya kapag may tanong pero di naman siya humihinto para maghintay sa tanong. Tuloy-tuloy lang siya. Kahit nakikita niya na naweiweirdohan na ang mga tao sa kanya.

Parang yung kaklase ko na monotone magsalita. Parang computerized phone answering machine. Please try again later. The telephone number you dial is busy for the moment. Your current balance is three. thousand.and.fifty.pesos. T$@!$@!@ ang boring at parang wala siya pakielam.

At meron din yung walang paghahanda na ginawa na kahit ano. Yung nagbabasa diretso sa libro habang dinidiscuss yung nirereport niya. Yung basa tapos explain ng binasa na mali-mali pa o puros presumption ang laman.


Iniisip ko rin yung mga standards ng mga teacher at professor ko dati.

Yung tipong nagrereklamo kapag tadtad ng text ang presentation at binabasa mo lang.

O kaya yung sobrang boring na natutulog yung prof.

O kaya yung pabawas ng pabawas yung grade mo kata uka sa illustration board na isusubmit mo.


Hindi ko naman sinasabi na maging parang estudyante na puno ng mga walang kwentang batas. At kopyahin ang benteng pahina ng history book mo dahil trip lang ng titser mo.

Ang gusto kong sabihin ay makakatulong sayo at ma-aappreciate ng mga taong nasa paligid mo kung mag-eexert ka ng effort sa mga ginagawa mo. Effort na katulad o mas higit pa sa binibigay mo nung estudyante ka.

Alam ko minsan nakakatamad dahil walang deadline o walang grade na lalabas o wala kang star na matatanggap kahit na gawin mo ng maayos.

Pero isipin mo career mo na 'to mas malaking bagay to kesa sa pagiging estudyante. Buhay mo na to ito na gagawin mo sa buong buhay mo.

Kahit na rak en rol ka sa paggawa mo sa tingin ko dapat matino pa rin at may effort ang mga presentation mo.

Sa tingin ko lang.

Osho

Sobrang helpful na website. Ingat lang kayo minsan egoistic at medyo baliw-baliw si Osho.

Kaya doubt everything :)

http://www.messagefrommasters.com

Bodhidharma

Ang ama ng Zen Buddhism.

Jhana, Chan, Zen.

Galing daw siya sa India pumunta ng China.



Maganda yang set ng mga videos na yan panoorin niyo :)

It's all coming back

It's all coming back

It's all coming back to me now

There were moments of cold and there were flashes of light

There were things I'd never do again but they always seem right

There nights of endless pleasuressssssssssssssss



Baby baby baby

Magic Magic

Ahhhhh!!! sobrang hindi pa rin ako komportable na wala akong pinagkakakitaan ng pera. 

Kaya nitong mga nakaraang araw nagreresearch ako at gumagawa ako ng mga "artsy/crafty" magic cards paraphernalia.

Kasi kilala ko ang mga magic player. Isa ako dun. Alam ko na handa sila gumastos ng pera. Alam ko magkakano ang handa nila gastusin at alam ko rin kung ano ang malamang ay magugustuhan nila.

Ang art-making para sa akin ay hindi secluded practice para sa akin hindi art ang gawa kung yung gumawa lang ang nakakarelate dun.

Siguro crass ang pag-iisip ko pero para sa akin hindi art ang nagawa ko kung walang taong handang ipagpalit ang perang kanilang pinaghirapan kitain para maiuwi at gumising araw-araw sa harap ng gawa ko.

Parang kung pangit at masangsang ang galungong bakit ko bibilhin yun.

How to start a bad day

"Resistance wants you to go back to sleep, meaning remain unconscious. Resistance is always selling the easy way, the shortcut, the cheap shot. Resistance urges the artist/addict to slack off from, to sidestep, to avoid, to run away from, to not do. It wants you and me to stay shallow, to remain superficial, to continue unfocussed and uncommitted; to accept mediocrity, to avoid pain, to back away from the fight."

http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2011/05/the-artist-and-the-addict/

Some days I work my ass out. Some days I slack all day.

What's the difference?

Kanina napansin ko ang isa sa mga pagkakaiba tinatamad ako kapag nag-stay ako sa kama kapag nagising na ako. Kapag sinubukan kong matulog ulit.

Buti na lang na diyan ang makulit naming aso na si Lancie na mangungulit, manghihingi ng atensyon at iba pa hanggang magising ako.

Pero siyempre minsan nananalo ang katamaran. At kapag nasimulan na madalas buong araw na yun o kaya minsan hanggang sa mga susunod na araw. 

Hindi naman kailangan palaging may gawin. Kailangan lang paganahin ang utak. Alamin ang mga nangyayari sa paligid. 

Ang pakiramdam. And tunog. Ang init. Ang kati. Ang katamaran.

Alamin na nangyayari sila ngayon. Pero hindi sila ako. Hindi tamad si Gerome. Nangyayari ang katamaran kay Gerome. 

Malaking pagkakaiba nun. Kapag tamad si Gerome forever na yun. Kapag nangyayari ang katamaran kay Gerome (na ang totoong nangyayari). Alam natin na nangyayari lang yun. Lilipas din.

Sobrang fan ako ng gawa ni Steven Pressfield sa ngayon payborit kong basahin ang blog niya di ko pa afford bumili ng libro niya eh.

Pero sobrang gustong ko yung mga ideas niya especially dun sa concept niya ng Resistance.

May maganda silang audio interview ni Mark Macguinness sa Lateral action pakinggan mo. Mga lagpas benteng beses ko na kasi siguro napakinggan yun.

Sobrang asteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg.

Sampung mga daliri

Kamay at paa

Dalawang Tenga, Dalawang Mata

Ilong na maganda


Kung ano meron ako meron din karamihan ng tao. Yung iba kulang pa nga dahil sa mga kapansanan o kaya sakit.

Pero ano ang p*$$(#-($# pagkakaiba sakin at sa mga taong hinahangaan ko.

Edad. Siguro. Pera. Malaking tulong yun. Koneksyon. Pwede.

Ano nga ba?


Meron napakagandang talk si Simon Sinek sa TED na naglalaman ng mga example ng mga taong wala ng kahit ano sa masasabi nating formula for success. Funding at Connections.

Ang isa sa halimbawa ay ang wright brothers. Na walang nakaalam na may tao na palang nakalipad gamit ang eroplano makalipas ang dalawang araw dahil walang pumapansin sa ginagawa nila.

Hmmmm. Hanapin mo at panoorin yung buong talk. Tamad!


Ang sagot sabi ni Sinek ay "People don't buy what you do they buy why you do it",


Pero may problema ako dun kasi ako yung klase ng tao na sobrang seryoso sa mga ginagawa niya na nagiging nakakatakot siya lapitan baka kagatin ka niya kapag inisturbo mo siya.


Pero mas mabait naman ako kesa noon. Mas masayahin na ako. At kapag napansin kong may gagawin akong kalokohan na makakasakit hinihinto ko. Kaso siyempre nakakalampas yung iba ng di ko namamalayan.


So ano ang pagkakaiba ng talunan sa nagtatagumpay. Ewan di ko pa sigurado. Pero ito ang mga ilan sa mga nakikita kong gamagana at umeepekto para sa akin.

Kapag kinabahan ako iniisip pa lang na gawin yun. Siguro kailangan ko talagang gawin yun.

May mga bagay ako ng iniiwasan tulad ng pagdrodrowing, pagpinta, pagbebenta. Mga bagay na hindi ko pa gamay at natatakot akong subukan dahil may pagiisip ako na magkakamali ako.

Kaya nung isang araw tuwang-tuwa ako dun sa scribble dun sa sketchpad ni Yza. Kasi bata gumawa nun (Pinsan niya). Naalala ko yung sinabi ni Picasso na parang buong lifetime niya ang kinailangan para makapagpinta na parang bata.

Yung pagpinta/pagguhit na masaya na spontaneous. Ewan ang hirap paliwanag.

Yung pagkilos na na nadun ka talaga.

Takot kasi ako gumihit kasi sa klase namin isa ako sa pinaka-masahol gumuhit ang mga anatomy drawings ko sobrang sahol.

Pero ngayon kahit papaano na gumuguhit ulit ako paunti-unti ang saya ng walang pressure mula sa prof, sa kaklase mong imba magdrowing, at sa sarili mo. Yung chillax lang.

Nakita ko rin na di ko naman kailangan maging imba magdrowing kasi ibang mensahe yung sinusubukan kong iparating.

Hindi yung mga pogi at seksi katawan na ginagawa namin sa anatomy. Kundi mga ideya ng pagkatao at pagkakaroon ng espasyo, ng katawan, ng kamalayan.

Mga pa-deep na bagay.


Napansin ko rin na ang mga pinakamahahalagang lesson sa buhay ay yung mga pinaka-cliche na lesson. Yung tipong ang dalas-dalas mo na ng naririnig di mo na pinapansin.

Kaso para makuha mo yung importanteng katas nung lesson na yun dapat isabuhay mo yun at pagaralan ng mabuti.

Parang katulad nung sinabi sakin ni Sir Bengy nung naiinggit ako sa solo exhibit niya at sa mga sobrang laking prints.

Sabi niya, "Take it easy".

Dahil sawa na ako sa ommanipadmehum at compassion mantra.

Ginawa kong mantra yun. Hmmm. Take it easy. Dahan-dahan.

Di sinabing dapat huminto dapat dahan-dahan lang. Parang sabi ni confucious di mahalaga na mabilis ang importante hindi ka tumitigil. Sabi din ni Jesus humayo ka. Sabi din ni Buddha Go forth.

Go forth pero di kailangan nagmamadali kasi isang sa mga enlightenment factors ay clam-abidding. Calmness na parang natutulog sa ilamin ng puno sa isang maaraw at mahangin na araw.

Take it easy sa paglalakad. Take it easy sa pagiisip. Take it easy sa pag-ngiti. Mukang akong demonyo kapag nasobrahan.

Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Ewan ko cliche ba yun. Pero take it easy. Ah sabi din ni Bencab the effort must be effortless. Natural kumbaga. Easy.

Take it easy. Simple lang. No-mind ika nga ni Shunryu Suzuki. Take it easy.

Sabi ng mga matatanda sa mga batang naglalaro. Dahan-dahan. Baka magkasakitan. Take it easy.

O diba mula dun pwedeng gawin ang Geneva Convention. Take it easy kapag nasa giyera baka masira ang mga cultural heritage thingy. Take it easy bawal gumamit ng nuke ha.

Take it easy sa mga concepts. Wag masyadong personal baka di ma-gets ng ibang tao. Take it easy. Take it easy sa pag-blog blog. Wag masyadong mahaba tinatamad na ang nagbabasa. Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Bacchaulauriate mass

Ah I know the spelling is wrong but it's the thought that counts right.

Kahapon nagpunta ako sa UST para makigulo sa bacchalauriate mass. Nakasalubong ko dun si Miko at Yza, si Ken at Janet, si Odin at Mikhail, si Gem at Matthew, si Hazel at Val, si Sir Malihan, si Cath, si Ma'am Seranilla, si Sir Nacario, si Ma'am Mort at Sir Flores at iba pa.

Naggawa-gawa pa ako ng event sa Thesis Gurus di naman natuloy dahil masayang ang pagkakagulo kahapon.

Ayos may buffet pa sa CFAD sa third sangdamukal ang pagkain. Nakadalwang balik pa kami nila Miko at Yza.

Nakisama din sila Miko at Yza sa mga CFAD na dadaan sa Arch of the Century. Ako? KJ ako eh.

Nag-rock band pa kami.

Sarap lumabas ng bahay at makipagusap sa ibang tao naman. Kaso napapansin ko talaga socially ackward ako.

Kapag sa ibang lugar hindi ko magawang makipagusap ng maayos sa mga taong hindi ko pa kilala o hindi ko pa masyadong kilala.

Parang hi hello tapos aalis na ko. Ewan bakit ganun ako.

Ewan Congratsss!!! Congrats sa lahat ng graduates ngayon !!! :)))))))

Gaming on the Contemporary arts

A huge part of my college has been spent on playing games. A huge part of my after college has been spent on studying the contemporary arts scene.

Siguro kung nakontento ako sa pakikinig ng mga talks at exhibit dito sa Pinas na contemporary arts ang theme mayayamot lang ako dahil karamihan sa kanila hindi nagco-connect sakin at masyadong self -referential.

Parang ito art ko tungkol to sa mundo at buhay ko kung di mo pagaaralan ang mundo at buhay ko di mo magegets gawa ko bahala ka sa buhay mo.

Buti na lang may internet sa panahon natin ngayon. At ang pinaka-malupit at pinaka-awesome na resource tungkol sa contemporary arts na nakita ko sa ngayon ay ang....

Tetereren....

http://badatsports.com/

At napakalupet ng huling podcasts nila. Ah oo nga pala mga podcasts yun kaya ayos kasi pwede kang makinig habang ginagawa mo yung mga physical part ng art-making mo.

Diba lupet.

http://badatsports.com/2013/episode-393-jesper-juul-oliver-warden-art-fair-madness/

Ang episode 393 ay tungkol sa gaming.

Di ko sspoil sa inyo pero pinaka-excited ako na malaman kung ano kalalabasan nung explorations ni Oliver Warden sa "The Box".

Basically yung "The Box" ay isang box na may two-way mirror. Mirror siya pero nakikita ka nung nasa kabilang side nung mirror. At makikita mo lang yung nasa kabilang side kapag may ilaw dun.

Tapos yung box may switch ng ilaw.

Kapag binuksan mo galing sa labas. Papatayin ulit ni Oliver galin sa loob.

Tapos astig noh.

Eh lately natutuwa daw siya sa Left for Dead. Naiimagine ko tuloy paano kung imbis na taong maayos ang bihis ang nasa loob ng box ay isang zombieang susunggab sayo. o kaya pack ng zombie katulad dun sa left for dead. O kaya witch.

Diba astig :))))

Loaning Rights?

I've worked with a camera company. That provided me some resources for my kite aerial photography work.

Unfortunately they made some changes.

I love their camera. In fact I would choose it over the brand of my personal camera. The quality and ease of use is just awesome.

And I love using their camera. Been able to use their unit for almost a year I'm missing it.

But I rather use my battle-scarred-salt-water-swimming camera than be able to use their camera and give the copyrights of some of the images I will be making with it.

I explained and reiterated in my e-mails that such practice is not good for photographers and that the best I could give is limited rights to use the images.

Then they said that it would be unfair for "others" if they gave me that exception. And that I would surely have some photos that I could give away (trashy photos which would give me a trashy reputation, no way).

I'm curious who are those others that agreed to such an agreement. Don't they know they are hurting their work and the industry by agreeing to such terms.

What if they decide to print those photos in underwears for promotion?

Sunsets vs. Buildings

Last week most of my time have been dedicated to doing this so I don't want this work to sink like nothing like some of my work did.

The idea behind this work is to play chess while having a nice educated discussion around the issue of the planned reclamation in the Manila Bay area.

Why chess? Because when I used to go to UST during college I would pass by a chess playing area set up by the barangay in front of a bakery. Which is something I only saw in Manila. I think there were three tables.

I think that people are much more civil talking about issues around a chess board compared to a round of beer.

And Marcel Duchamp, the propagator of conceptual art, likes to place chess.

The blue ones are the "buildings" they contain images of condos, buildings, reclamation sites, etc. The red ones are the "sunsets" containing images of the famed Manila Bay sunset.

Letting go of an opportunity

Lately I've been given an opportunity to work in a studio. I was referred to the studio by a more accomplished photographer.

The opportunity really got me thinking into taking the job. But my mother said that she would be needing me to stay in the house.

Because we will be transferring from our current apartment to somewhere else very soon and our househelper which is really close to us will be leaving us soon too because my mother has not been able to give her salary on schedule.

So I'll be the "tambay" of the house together with our dog Lancie. Perhaps I'll be the ones doing the laundry too. Maybe some cooking but mind you I am not good at that. Maybe some ironing too. I am also not good at that.

I am also partly averse to the type of work produced in the studio. I am not into fashion. And a lot of shoots I've seen from the studio's portfolio include the theme of fashion. I'm just not into that type of work.

I can get pretty nasty and irritated when forced to do those type of works. Perhaps my "libogtographer" friends would be interested.

I've decided not to take the job. Ultimately because I'm not the guy for the job. I just might ruin the atmosphere of a shoot. And someone out there will be very very happy to get that job and would be joyful to be part of those types of work. And taking that job will prevent that someone-out-there from getting in.

So I hope the studio and that someone-out-there meet each other.

Anatta: Non-self

Transmission #1

Mixed Media, approximately 8 by 10 by 2.5 inches

Is one of the doctrines in Buddhism. And one of the hardest concepts of Buddhism for me to understand and accept.

As I understand the concept of it. Is that there is no self and there is no non-self. 

There is no self. Because there is no permanent self. Because the self is ever changing. The Gerome from seven years before is very different to the Gerome that is now. The Gerome a second ago is very similar but again different from the Gerome now.

A good analogy I read from a book compares our self to a drop of water. The drop of water from the rain is the same but also not the same with the water on the wet floor. 

It's kinda hard to accept in concepts. But in reality this does occur. 

Well that's one of the point of the teachings too to put actual experience over preconceived notions/concepts. 

Concerning no non-self. There is a story that once a monk filled with pride about his wisdom approached Bodhidharma. 

The monk said something like, "The Buddha is empty. The Dharma is empty. The Sangha is empty. The self is empty. There is no such thing as self."

Then Bodhidharma smack him in the head. The monk then got angry, "Why did you hit me?"

"If there is no self then who it is that got hurt and angry." Bodhidharma said

So is there self or is there no self. I think there is neither nor either.

There are just concepts that are use for conventional means like addressing a friend, giving gratitude to someone, communicating to one another. 

They are a means to help. But sometimes they can get in the way and knowing that they are just that we can then kill them when they get in the way.

As they say, "Kill the Buddha." 

Opportunities and Insecurities

You know that bad feeling when you don't have money. That bad feeling when you know you are going to run out of money soon.

Well I'm feeling that.

There are a couple of opportunities that have been presented to me. But I don't know they kinda look more like distractions for me.

I have plans on how I can earn money from my art-making. How to foster a viable audience for my works.

But there is just this thing that is bothering since Saturday. I don't know maybe it's because it looks like I'm not doing much.

Process: Gear Art

First, go to http://woodgears.ca/gear_cutting/template.html and put the specs of your gear.

Size it up then print them.

Third, glue them in your cintra board. I use cintra because we have a ton lying around at home. You can also use wood. But boards, well I tried using thick boards but they split into different layers when drilled and chiseled.

Then drill the holes in the middle and in between the teeth of the gear. 

Next I then chisel the gear using the wood carving tools I have from my engraving class back in college. 

Then I position them on the board. Which is at least two thick illustration boards pasted together.

Keeping them in position with blutacks and holding them well I drill the hole on the board.

Afix the gears on position with screw, nuts, lock nuts, 

Then paint.

Finished :)