Part of life. Easy to logically accept. Hard to emotionally accept.
I just parted away with our beloved dog a few months from now and I'm still looking around for her. Making remarks as what she would do if she would have been here. And it still hurt sometimes.
But being pragmatic and looking at what can be educational from the experience. I've learned to focus more on our better times together. The things we learned from each other.
Though I am quite ashamed that I kept a distance from her to recover. Before I finally called up from Manila to Morong, Rizal to see her in her final breaths.
I took a walk to our relative's home there from the jeepney stop instead of riding a tricycle to gather up myself.
Then there when I finally came she knew it. Tried to hold up her head with her weak, growing weaker body, to look up to me. Gizette and Daddy where very sad and I thought of making things brighter.
Joked around that she will have to be a double dead lechon. A joke we have been telling since she was sick. A motivation to get better for her.
Sensing her distraught. I summoned up to be brave enough to say to my father to allow me to take aknife to end her suffering.
But even before I could she breathe a heavy one. I thought she just choked or something. Patted her on her chest to clear her throat.
Then there no more breathe came after.
She waited for me they say.
Now here in my room typing this. I think I should really get back on doing my series of narrative illustrations about her.
Because I saw that there is so much fun in her life compared to most dogs even to some human I might say. And a lot of insights too.
She managed to learn so much in her short lifetime. Give so much love and care. Even though she is sometimes treated lowly as a dog. And lovably abused with forced hugs.
She in her lifetime learned. How to shake hands. Do a shake hand to ask for food. Hold herself from eating a treat in front of her. Take a walk without any leash. Run without any leash as I run along. Remember and drag me to the best spots to forage fallen ripe mangos in Addition hills. Peel them using her paws. Make me hold the mango when it has no opening to bite to so that she could pierce one.
Jump up to my bed to wake me up to take a walk. Wake me up for walks only on my free days during college.
And so much more.