Impermanence
Part of life. Easy to logically
accept. Hard to emotionally accept.
I just parted away with our beloved
dog a few months from now and I'm still looking around for her. Making remarks
as what she would do if she would have been here. And it still hurt sometimes.
But being pragmatic and looking at
what can be educational from the experience. I've learned to focus more on our
better times together. The things we learned from each other.
Though I am quite ashamed that I
kept a distance from her to recover. Before I finally called up from Manila to
Morong, Rizal to see her in her final breaths.
I took a walk to our relative's home
there from the jeepney stop instead of riding a tricycle to gather up myself.
Then there when I finally came she
knew it. Tried to hold up her head with her weak, growing weaker body, to look
up to me. Gizette and Daddy where very sad and I thought of making things
brighter.
Joked around that she will have to
be a double dead lechon. A joke we have been telling since she was sick. A
motivation to get better for her.
Sensing her distraught. I summoned
up to be brave enough to say to my father to allow me to take aknife to end her
suffering.
But even before I could she breathe
a heavy one. I thought she just choked or something. Patted her on her chest to
clear her throat.
Then there no more breathe came
after.
She waited for me they say.
Now here in my room typing this. I
think I should really get back on doing my series of narrative illustrations
about her.
Because I saw that there is so much
fun in her life compared to most dogs even to some human I might say. And a lot
of insights too.
She managed to learn so much in her
short lifetime. Give so much love and care. Even though she is sometimes
treated lowly as a dog. And lovably abused with forced hugs.
She in her lifetime learned. How to
shake hands. Do a shake hand to ask for food. Hold herself from eating a treat
in front of her. Take a walk without any leash. Run without any leash as I run
along. Remember and drag me to the best spots to forage fallen ripe mangos in
Addition hills. Peel them using her paws. Make me hold the mango when it has no
opening to bite to so that she could pierce one.
Jump up to my bed to wake me up to
take a walk. Wake me up for walks only on my free days during college.
And so much more.
