This problem came at me after
graduation or maybe during my thesis subject only extension year in college. I
like doing the kind of work I was doing for my thesis study. But that work was
some expensive work. And for better or for worse I had to find other ways of
funding that project other than relying in my parents' constantly delayed
promises.
So there I tried applying for
grants, for sponsorships, cold-calling people, asking believers in my project
that are better off, etc.
Through that I was able to touch on
the more "real-world" aspect of art. The world that is different from
the university. From the employer. From the freelancer.
I was there doing the stuff that I
really like. Not necessarily for the benefit of some brand, company, or
organization. But for the benefit of the project itself. Which looks a bit
selfish. But the effects are not that so.
It's like what the alchemists says
that it is not about the lead turning into gold. It is about that when someone
or something evolves all the other things around it evolves. So by focusing on
the evolution of something inside, which we have more control over though can
be much harder to get started at. Benefits the people and things around us.
For me for example, I've become more
humble, more generous, more appreciative of many things after diving into this
pool of "selfless selfishness".
Selfless selfishness
It's like when you're doing
something that you really really really like doing. Like time just passes by
without you knowing it because you're having so much fun doing it.
It's like when you're so happy at
the end of the day that you're worries, troubles, problems, body-ache, all of
those shitty things. You them all supercial compared to the happiness that
you're experiencing.
Like that. It is when transcendence
happen. When dichotomies are reconciled.
